is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
