1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
