The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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