i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
