Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
