I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
