I want to stick my p in your. b.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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