apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
