pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
