watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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