how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Be still, my beating vagina.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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