omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
