I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
