their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Randomize
