My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
