He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
