i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
