he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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