I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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