Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
