Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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