I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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