ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
