I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
