Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
