Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
My pussy is not your playground.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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