I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
