I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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