Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
