I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
