it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
