her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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