took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
