i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
