One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
