dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
