Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
is that a dick in a sweater?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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