I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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