so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
