I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
