Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
