Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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