she woke up with a sticky ear
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
soo... how was my night?
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