I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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