What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
