woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
