You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
