physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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