Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
