Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
