all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
