His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
