Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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