And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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