I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I cockslap morals
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
