You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
