Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
