I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
